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Must be willing to work long hours with no work-life balance or opportunity to advance. (All work, No life.)

Must be able to work in an environment where there are no clearly defined goals to receive our “competitive” incentive pay. (We just haven’t hired the person capable of hitting our “clearly undefined” goals yet.)

Must have a passion to be micro-managed. (We will tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it and why you are doing it wrong.)

Must be able to excel while enduring constant criticism and harassment from management and your co-workers. (“If you don’t like it don’t let our open door policy hit you in the backside on your way out.”)

If this sounds like an opportunity for you, fill out our 12 page job application and submit it to the person sitting at the desk in the corner. If they are on their “break” or on their cell, leave it on the desk and we may get back to you.

ABC Company is an equal opportunity offender. Watch for our employment ads in the paper Sunday thru Saturday. We’re always hiring! Have a nice Day!

Wanted: Tips to Hire, Develop and Retain Talent:

Look familiar? The above “Help Wanted” ad is the complete antithesis of what Dale Carnegie lists as “The 4 Things Millennials Want in the Workplace“: Work Life Balance, Incentives Based on Clear Goals, Limited Oversight, Positive Work Environment. If your understanding of this is incorporated in your Talent Acquisition and Development Strategy, you’re off to a good start. If any portion of the ad reminds you of your organization, you undoubtedly have a long way to go in competing for today’s talent.

The International Ticketing Association (INTIX) recently conducted an industry survey to learn what are the latest challenges facing the industry today. The results revealed one of the Top Challenges revolved around Developing and Retaining Staff. As a Human Resource/Business Professional, with over 30 years of broad-based expertise including hiring, engaging, training and developing talent at all levels of an organization, I can assure you that these challenges are not exclusive to the Ticketing Industry. But the root causes are common to most. The Economist calls hiring the right person the biggest failing of business today. The cost of a bad hire/bad fit runs into the billions of dollars annually for businesses. The toll on productivity, morale, turnover, theft of goods and services, litigation, and recruiting impacts everyone within the organization. Yet many organization continue utilizing what Albert Einstein may refer to as the theory of “Insane Hiring Practices”, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If your idea of a recruitment strategy consists of placing an ad in the paper or Craigslist every time there’s a vacancy, you may be employing “insane hiring practices”. If your turnover rate looks more like the federal deficit numbers, you might be employing “insane hiring practices”. If seniority at your organization is measured in weeks not years, you may be employing “insane hiring practices”. Sounding like a Jeff Foxworthy routine, but the sad truth is that for too many organizations this is the reality.

Making the commitment to implement an effective Strategic Talent Acquisition and Development Plan, that will facilitate the sourcing, hiring, training and development of talent at all levels of your organization, will save you time, save you money, help build your brand, and increase employee morale and engagement all while drastically reducing turnover within your organization. Failure to do so will, unfortunately, add to my already long list of bad “Jeff Foxworthy-like” recruitment jokes.

Talent Acquisition and Development done correctly is an effective strategic process that involves an honest assessment of your organization’s culture and values which, according to Deloitte, can either be your company’s Competitive Advantage or Achilles’ heel. It involves a commitment from the “top down” and “bottom up” to be active participants in the entire process including the sourcing, selection, on-boarding, training and development of your talent. Done correctly, there is a strong emphasis and commitment to training and development, providing a significant return on investment beyond just dollars and “sense“.

In order to break the “insane hiring practice” chain many organizations must cast away the antiquated thinking and sometimes lack-luster efforts that surrounds their recruitment and development strategy and replace it with an effective strategy, built on a sound principles and processes. To help begin this process I have included “5 Hiring Lessons”, from author Lou Adler that I believe embodies some core principles to help lay the foundation of an effective talent management strategy:

  1. Understand the needs of the job before defining the person who will fill the job.
  2. Make certain the person is “performance qualified” with the right set of skills and experience for the job you are hiring.
  3. Once you have determined if the person is performance qualified, make certain they are a fit for the culture of your organization.
  4. Consider talent an investment, not a transaction.
  5. Recruiting matters.

In the next few blogs we will spend some time on these “lessons” as well as cover other key topics that include Cultural Fit, The Impact of Technology on Recruiting, Investing in Training & Development and Leadership’s Role and Impact. If you have a specific question you would like addressed in the series, you can email me at: and I will attempt to incorporate a response as part of information in one of the upcoming blogs within the series.

Although we will attempt to approach the subjects with an occasional, yet misguided, sense humor, the sense of urgency for companies to transform their Talent Acquisition and Development process into an effective and dynamic part of your overall Strategic Plan is critical. Do you want to continue employing “Insane Hiring Practices” while your competitors compete for talent utilizing a well-designed and executed plan? I don’t think it takes an Einstein to figure out who wins that battle.

What are some of the challenges you have faced or successes stories during your career? Let me know. We can all learn from each other’s experiences.

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